You’re probably making a mistake with this vendetta thing, but if you move forward, you’ll only need a snare drum.
Plusses:
It will be as loud as hell.
As an incompetent drummer, you’ll be absolutely terrible, but still very much as loud as hell which makes your terrible playing even more insufferable.
Snare drums are cheap at pawn shops and the like, but get a name brand in order to reliably sound as loud as hell as possible.
There’s no power required to sound as absolutely loud as hell. Zero increase in your electric bill.
Your forearm and hand muscles will become more developed over time.
Negatives:
To avoid ear damage, you’ll want good earplugs or well-sealed headphones.
It’s a thirsty business, and you’ll need to stay hydrated if you want to play as loud as hell for as long as possible.
Assorted blisters are a near-certainty.
Will need a fund for replacement drumsticks - they can go at any time.
Strong possibility that you might be the one to be evicted. (Irony)
Hard pass.